Beautiful Things

Last night, I had the priviledge to share my story with a group of teenage girls who are desperate for feeling like they mean something, to someone.

As a teenager, I wasn't popular, I felt ugly and I felt unworthy. I went to a small Christian school, and boys didn't pay attention to me... one time at summer camp, they even dared one of their friends to come up to me and tell me that he had a crush on me... it was a joke.
My self-esteem at that time was low and I didn't think anyone would ever love me.
My aunt was also battling cancer at the time and honestly, I thought that it would be better if God took me instead of her. I saw all the pain it caused everyone... and I figured that if it were me, it wouldn't matter. She passed away...
I started cutting myself.

The girls in the room... so many of them started crying. My heart broke, I struck a nerve.
I read some scriptures how God forgives and Jer. 31:34 - He forgives all their sins, He will remember them no more. I told them, if God can do that for a nation, He surely can do it for you.
I desperately wanted them to know that they are all beautiful and loved and forgiven.

I still screw up too, you know? I don't trust that God will always give me what I need. I put my identity in friendships and perhaps even put my worth in the things I do.

In the set, we also shared Psalms 139: 13-18. I wrote a blog a couple months ago about that. Melody told the girls that they are precious daughters of the King.

God moved.
God chose to use me for it.

Afterwards, some girls came up to me and they appreciated so much what I had said and sharing my story... It was like... this instant bond. They trusted me. I had been in their shoes, and I had overcome (with God).

Before the set, I was talking to our contact for the night and he had even mentioned Psalms 139. I knew, right then, that that was confirmation that I was speaking on the right things.

Thank you, Lord for using me. Thank you for speaking through me and giving me peace and courage. Thank you for always being with me. You are GOOD!